Parenthood & Friendship

James and I spent the week at my parents in Little Rock.  It was my last visit for a long time because I will start working weekends soon.  We enjoyed every day, and it was filled with new adventures for James.  The quality time I spent with my parents got me thinking about the transition from parenting to friendship. 

Parenting and friendship are powerful components that at times intertwine and stand alone.

When we are young, we need our parent to be parents.  We need structure and authority filled with unconditional love.  When we are teens, we need authority and guidance that leads us to independence.  Also, we need to begin a friendship that will last throughout our adult years.  In our young and old adults years, we need our parents to become our close friends, no longer our authority figures.  What I just described is the desired outcome when you have a healthy relationship with your parents.

My parents are my best friends.

They were parents when I was young.  They didn't try to be my "friend". They raised me to be capable and independent.  Yet, they raised me in an atmosphere of love.  They respected me; I respected them.  They understood their job and ultimate goal was to raise me to stand on my own.  Not to hover.  Not to dictate.  Not to make my decisions.  Not to always protect me.

There comes a point in parenthood you have to start letting go.  You have to let your kids fail.  It's hard.  It's hard to watch your children make mistakes or struggle no matter their age.  But, sometimes it is necessary.  If you have a strong friendship with your children in their adults years, you've reserved the right to speak into their lives when asked.  Because you have that friendship, they will ask; they value your opinion.  But, as the parent, you know your opinion and advice may not be their final decision. And, guess what? That is okay. Remember, you raised them to be adults.  You raised them to be capable.

I understand.. That is your baby, and your baby he will always be.  I get it.  But, you (the parent) will not always be around.  You will not always be there to make the decisions for your child.  You have to instill in your child the values and wisdom it takes to make it alone.  That is your job.  Not to always hold their hand or command what they do.

I am so thankful my parents raised me to be a strong, independent, and capable woman.  They trust me, and I trust them.  They did their job well.  They are there for me when I fail or succeed.  They are my biggest cheerleaders.  Now, they recognize me as an adult and friend.  Don't get me wrong, I will always be their baby.  But, now, our relationship has turned into sometime beautiful.. a strong friendship.  I love spending time with them.  I love seeing them be grandparents.  I love my parents.